In the Sharing Garden, there gathered people from all around the world. When they felt that they were suffering from the emotional flu some time in their lives, they sought help, complied with proper treatment, changed their thinking style, and exercised physically; they eventually recovered. These people were sitting around the tree and sharing their pathways to the recovery of the flu. Depressed Little Prince joined the discussion, learned the experiences, and gained insights.
Mr. Potato and Miss Peanut
Mr. Potato used to look down on himself. He admired Miss Peanut for her knowledge and praised her deep in his heart. Yet Miss Peanut wasn’t happy. She also felt bad about herself. She had high regards on Mr. Potato and had shown him her affections. Mr. Potato, however, didn’t believe she would like him.
Both of them wished to encourage the other: yet they both had forgotten that self-esteem would not come from others.
People with High Self-esteem
- They expect to be accepted by others and therefore approach others positively and confidently.
- They are able to believe in themselves and hence defend themselves against teasing or negative comments. They are not overly influenced by others. They do prefer others?agreement and approval but they don’t “need” them.
- They are not overly critical of themselves and hence do not overly criticize others or overly complain or whine.
- They believe they will be able to cope with interpersonal situations and so take the risks associated with these situations, such as public performances, meeting strangers, and contributing to discussions.
- They don’t feel the need to be overly competitive, and therefore can work cooperatively with others and are not threatened by others?success.
- They interpret their own performances favourably and don’t feel the need to show off or exaggerate abilities or draw attention to them.
How to Improve
|Path 1||You must acknowledge that “worthiness” is just an abstraction. It cannot be measured. You cannot have it or fail to have it. There can be enormous satisfactions from various aspects of daily life that are totally independent of any concept of worthiness.|
|Path 2||Acknowledge that everyone has his/her “unit of worthiness” from birth till death. Life experiences may vary vastly among all of us but your “unit of worthiness” can never change – you are still precious. Your sole responsibility is to enhance your happiness and satisfaction through living fulfilling.|
|Path 3||Recognize that there is only one way you can lose a sense of self-worth—-by persecuting yourself with unreasonable, illogical negative thoughts. Never hold yourself reprehensible to negative thoughts. Instead, deal with them by meaningful and rational responses.|
|Path 4||Self-esteem can be viewed as your decision to treat yourself like a beloved friend. Give him/her the best; let him/her know how much you regard him/her. Make him/her feel at home, in comfort and at peace.|
- Stand tall
- Look into other people’s eyes. Don’t look down at the ground.
- Speak clearly and reasonably loud
- Don’t give a little laugh after you speak
- Don’t smile too much in a nervous way
- Smile confidently where appropriate
- Don’t hesitate
- Don’t fidget
- Show your interest in others?things, and others will find you interesting.
- Listen carefully, ask meaningful questions, and others will find you interesting.
- Talk about topics which the others are interested in, and try to keep them brief. If the others show no interest, just cut the topic.
- Discuss topics that interest all. Take turns in conversations.
- Try to be funny when describing experiences. The audience will like your illustrations for sure.
Burn, D. (1999) (3rd ed.). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: Avon.
McGrath, H., & Francey, S. (1999). Friendly kids friendly classrooms. Sydney: Longman Pearson.