In the Sharing Garden, there gathered people from all around the world. When they felt that they were suffering from the emotional flu some time in their lives, they sought help, complied with proper treatment, changed their thinking style, and exercised physically; they eventually recovered. These people were sitting around the tree and sharing their pathways to the recovery of the flu. Depressed Little Prince joined the discussion, learned the experiences, and gained insights.
Lonely Holiday was afraid of being alone. She often found her isolation intolerable, at which point she would begin writing songs. She wrote five songs about loneliness and they were very popular. Yet she was still unhappy.
The five songs were, namely
“Singing for the Lonely”
“Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely”
Turning Loneliness into Solitude
Dr Jeffrey Young (1994), at the University of Pennsylvania, defined loneliness as,
The unpleasant feeling that comes from a lack of satisfactory social relationships.(-ve)
You will note that there are two key elements —- “bad feelings” and “lacking relationships.” Therefore, being alone does not necessarily cause loneliness.
The good feelings from being alone, as a chance to relax and to reflect. (+ve)
Dr Young also talked about three kinds of loneliness:
- (Transient Loneliness) — flashes of loneliness It consists of everyday, brief feelings of loneliness that occur occasionally to most of us. These are obviously not a problem, unless you talk yourself into seeing them as such.
- Situational Loneliness — a change in life It involves people who have previously had good, successful relationships but who have now lost these relationships as a result of changes in their lives. Such changes can be moving home, separation or divorce, or losing relationships through death, particularly in old age.
- Chronic Loneliness — unable to establish successful relationships It is the kind of loneliness in people who have never been able to establish successful relationships, or at least not for some years. Usually this means they have been lonely in over at least two major life stages, such as adolescence and young adulthood.
Useful Tools for the lonely
Most pop songs, movies, TV dramas, and fictions underlay the myth that “Life could only be complete with a romantic partner.” This is an irrational argument. If you feel uncomfortable of being alone, think harder to see whether you really dislike it, or that you are just being bothered by the so-called norms.
A good life partner could surely enlighten your life, and it is a source of happiness too. But if you don’t have a good partner now, what’s the big deal? Isn’t it just like how you don’t owe a yacht?—-it’s not the end of the world! Make more good friends and develop deep friendships and intimate relationships. Now that’s a worthy goal in your life.
McGrath, H., & Francey, S. (1999). Friendly kids friendly classrooms. Sydney: Longman Pearson.
Young, J., & Klosko, J.S. (1994). Reinventing your life. New York: Plume.