In the Sharing Garden, there gathered people from all around the world. When they felt that they were suffering from the emotional flu some time in their lives, they sought help, complied with proper treatment, changed their thinking style, and exercised physically; they eventually recovered. These people were sitting around the tree and sharing their pathways to the recovery of the flu. Depressed Little Prince joined the discussion, learned the experiences, and gained insights.
Love Maniacs immersed half of their life in worries and mourning about romantic affairs:
“Does she love me?…” (Worry)
“She doesn’t love me anymore…” (Mourning)
“Shall we break up?…” (Worry)
We’ve broken up…” (Mourning)
“How can I live without her?…” (Worry)
Stuck in Puppy Love
|Many people have fantasies towards love affairs. In teenagers?world, love is extraordinarily fasinating, including unpredictable excitements.
|Teenagers are not only responsible for themselves, but also for their families, school, and friends. Being inexperienced, it is not easy to strike a balance between love and all other aspects of life.
|Understanding from Adults
|What complicates the situation is that teenagers rarely get approval and understanding from adults. When they want to speak of their feelings, they would probably get a cold cynical scold like “In future, you’ll know how silly you were!” “You’re spending all your time on dating. How’s your schoolwork?” “I started working when I was sixteen. It was different from how you’re living now!” “How much do you know about love?” The more such cynicisms the teenagers are given, the more reluctant they are to discuss their true feelings with others. They feel that no one could ever understand them.
Ways of Coping
|Is that Love?
|Learn to differentiate between “kindness,” “admiration,” “liking,” and “love.” As you get a clear definition of each state of affection, feelings towards a person may differ.
|Opened communication is essential so that your family and lover can understand you. Keeping facts and emotions to yourself not only worsen relationships but also benefit no one. Communication skills are not innate but to be learned and practised. There are many related reference books that may help you.
|Man or Woman?
|There is no need to claim yourself a homosexual too early, as your sexual inclination may change in future. Upon frustration, try to talk with professionals with no discrimination in homosexuality.
|The Best Medicine for the broken hearts
|When encountering a break-up of a relationship, blaming or getting mad with your partner or someone else would not solve your grievance but might give yourself false hope on an unworthy relationship and prolonged period of recovery. Be practical, positive and brave. Face and reflect upon the problems.
|A Listening Ear
|When you are feeling helpless and hopeless about your love situation, go and find a suitable listener, and your problems will be kindly shared.
P.W.C. Wong (2004). Psychologist at HKJC CSRP
The Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups (HKFYG) (2004). The outlook for love. Hong Kong.